courage means nothing???

Friday, February 20, 2009 at 2:54 PM
Many people won a situation by mastering self courage and opponent's. Ive been brave today but seemed it isnt what i think about, it is not that easy, instead it is a just a beginning.

"No doubt that i will be able to do that." This quotient remained on my mind since that incident, made myself knew something about courage that will bring out something expected or even unexpected. If u can do it with bravery, of course you can change the consequences. But sometimes, it wont result something you really want.

14/2 seems a special day, since i have lots of surprise even a surprise from myself. It took me several days worrying something on that day even i knew that nothing might happen as well. But then before that day ended, ive put my guts at all cost and made something unexpected. Yeap, ive done it, i felt relief a lot... felt much better than before, maybe the best feeling ever gained... but after a few days oh my... something really unexpected turn out to be my main anxiety...

Even then, i can feel the indifferent atmosphere from her. Seems to be an ignorance, seems to be an avoid, seems to be dislike, and even seems like "better-dont's ". I dont know what to do sometimes, yeap i admit my egoism, but ive tried not to show it so often already. Hmm..perhaps something happened??? I dont know, suddenly i felt that my previous action was totally useless and the worse, causing someone unhappy...i dont know the main reason, but im sure that it is not a good feeling. I admit that i really dislike this kind of feeling, well...this is relationship, if you cant feel it, you arent human.

Ive tried hard to communicate well, but seems a thick wall with a huge gap between us. Oh my... Its been a hard time only for me? I dont know... but sometimes i will find something to get rid of that problem. What can i do now??? Who knows what happened actually??? I hope god knows, and also do bring me some happiness as well... what i want is just a little care, is that really that hard???

Anyway, struggling within myself every moment thinking this and that, dont know what happen actually and also just hope everything will go find, and still im seeking a good way to break the gap, hope i will be ok with it ^^

Time's up...time to go, good day^^

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