P for Papercut.

It has been a gloomy day since the heavy downpour started from early morning till the afternoon. Today was quite a tough day for me as I would have to attend 3 classes not continuously but it took my whole day just for some lessons. In the morning, I was told to go to see my course lecturer in the morning. I was glad that I could wake up early in the morning, but somehow, it rained…just small rain, not heavy yet. So I went for breakfast then went to see him. Not a while, heavier downpour began and the weather really made me sick as it made my jean, sneaker, and laptop bag wet. It wasn't a big deal after all since I would go to library after the meeting. Who knows… I was unable to enter to the library, again…I’ve failed my plan… In such situation, I really had no idea and just went to my room.

Here the story started, a great day started with a great morning, but so unfortunately it rained and it also made me so lazy to move around. I was thinking, “since it was rain, there was no need to go for that class since it was just a bored lesson”. That kind of thinking really bear in my mind at that moment. And what was most interesting was, if you found someone who had the same thinking as you, you might feel that your action and what you were going to do next was totally right and relevant. Indeed, it was just a surface of a certain problem… Once your thoughts were being supported by others then you would have the will to continue and had a great determination to do it. But what I was done just now…it was wrong.

Somehow, that moment I was enjoying watching “The Dark Knight”… at first I was thinking and noticing the clock beside me, saw the time flowed every single second, and I was still sitting here enjoying a great movie. When watching till the last part of the movie, the movie gave me a great reminder- Everything done was in every person’s hand, what you did, you would get what consequence. That time…I kinda regret a bit…since I made a wrong choice and option again… It wouldn't be like that… but somehow, now…I was kinda hectic and miserable since I have so many things to handle including my ERP assignment and oral presentation, PAP things, and also competency math. The time I dint go to the lesson was the time I practicing my math for my coming test. Hopefully it helped, but somehow, I dint agree my steps that ive taken.

Everytime I saw my “intro to mechanical” book, I was thinking.. “I was so fond to choose it, and have a great will to own it, till that I chose it as my first choice as my enrollment to varsities. But now… my determination seems… decrease… and I don't have to will to continue it………..” I keep thinking why… it is not because of the school but it is myself who merely forgot what is my target and what I should be strive for. Nothing else is more important than my course that ive chosen. But many times, even we got the time, we will be influenced by surroundings, and the time isn’t your time after all. And I started become busier and busier… for group assignment discussion, and other meeting as well…or even the ultimate greatly obstacle- Procrastination. Even I have plan my time much, but seems that little bit of delay may cause everything changes. Even a good consequence or a bad one.

Sometimes, it is a wise thought for you to have your own time alone thinking what you’ve done and what you’ve caused. The imperfective of something, and the prefecture of something that you have done. What you’ve become and the surroundings you’ve created. Everything is in your hand just what you’re going to do with your hand, your hand still remain as a hand but what your hand cause will not always follows as your wish or thoughts.

So that's my thoughts for today, although it just my word from heart. Hmm… do stop a while looking around while walking…you might have something different in your mind…