P for Papercut.

It was a tough day for me, although I didn't work so hard for the sake of the football competition as I wasn't contributing anything to my team and also for the game. In the beginning of the day, it has been shown that today would be a tough day for us, especially for us to play the outdoor game. So, no doubt that we would be playing under the rainy condition and yet won’t be postponed. So, I just went to the field where the competition held and everyone was there and I just do it – play it.

So, the game started with my team consisted 5 persons in the game and a substitute. So, the first match was kinda made me irritate but still good, because I was chosen to be the goal keeper. I wasn't said I dint want to be it since all my team mates refused to be, but it was still fine for me in the first match. But in the second match, I was chosen again although ive talked to my team leader said I wish to have a keeper rotation among us. But then, he told me to wait, wait and wait. And very sucks, I couldn't do well in keeping the ball well from entering to the net. LOLz…funny ya…so ive talked to him also, but then still no point. So the second match was rather made me disappointing although my team scored but still lost the match. But then, I rather be the substitute one, and let them played it. THEN… the leader had no choice but becoming the goal keeper. LOLz… but pathetic, our team wasn't managed to enter the semis. So I was quite disappointed and just could stand there seeing others playing the game and washed by the cold breeze droplets from the gloomy dark sky.

And still the rain last for whole day. It even started from 4am till the midnight 1am. And still tomorrow … The sky has been covered by the white colored Grey shady clouds which shorten my vision causing me couldn't see through over the other side of the mountains. And yet, gloomy day causing lack of sun ray which caused laziness among us and yet, coolly breathe made us so moody and still procrastinate in everything. In fact, sometimes I like this kind of weather but when it lasted long, it became irritating since what I wish to do unable to complete in time. Perhaps not the weather caused me so lazy in everything, but its my old fart attitude – procrastination. In my mind has bunch of things waited to be accomplished, but then I was so pampered in everything that I didn't want to complete them and just let it be. Perhaps I was so exhausted in doing all those stuffs, maybe the things that I wish not to complete is the things I think is “additional work” and yet no one would care it much and keep pushing me to do all those works. So, sometimes I would rather let it be until I have the motivation to move and complete those works.

Hmm…ive been scraped lots but then I was quite miserable now since my exam is around in the corner and yet haven’t prepared yet and still have other things to do. Seems that I need to have the courage to burden and to take it as my responsibility and not to avoid the fact. Although I like to run, run to the finishing point and complete the course but have you ever wondered, during the race and stop it, turn around and see how far have you gone and what route have you taken. Not to run the wrong route and take the route that you believe that will bring you no harm and others, and then we can conclude that, you’ve taken the right road. So, turn around again and continue running, and im sure that you will have win win situation.

Omg, seems that I continue to crap also LOLz…anyway this is what I though now and my thinking that lasted for many days and I think its quite irritate having it in my heart. So I just write it out so that I would be one of my thought written and be a small story to everyone. So, sometimes just stop and stare…this is a method of success… good day then. ^^

It has been a gloomy day since the heavy downpour started from early morning till the afternoon. Today was quite a tough day for me as I would have to attend 3 classes not continuously but it took my whole day just for some lessons. In the morning, I was told to go to see my course lecturer in the morning. I was glad that I could wake up early in the morning, but somehow, it rained…just small rain, not heavy yet. So I went for breakfast then went to see him. Not a while, heavier downpour began and the weather really made me sick as it made my jean, sneaker, and laptop bag wet. It wasn't a big deal after all since I would go to library after the meeting. Who knows… I was unable to enter to the library, again…I’ve failed my plan… In such situation, I really had no idea and just went to my room.

Here the story started, a great day started with a great morning, but so unfortunately it rained and it also made me so lazy to move around. I was thinking, “since it was rain, there was no need to go for that class since it was just a bored lesson”. That kind of thinking really bear in my mind at that moment. And what was most interesting was, if you found someone who had the same thinking as you, you might feel that your action and what you were going to do next was totally right and relevant. Indeed, it was just a surface of a certain problem… Once your thoughts were being supported by others then you would have the will to continue and had a great determination to do it. But what I was done just now…it was wrong.

Somehow, that moment I was enjoying watching “The Dark Knight”… at first I was thinking and noticing the clock beside me, saw the time flowed every single second, and I was still sitting here enjoying a great movie. When watching till the last part of the movie, the movie gave me a great reminder- Everything done was in every person’s hand, what you did, you would get what consequence. That time…I kinda regret a bit…since I made a wrong choice and option again… It wouldn't be like that… but somehow, now…I was kinda hectic and miserable since I have so many things to handle including my ERP assignment and oral presentation, PAP things, and also competency math. The time I dint go to the lesson was the time I practicing my math for my coming test. Hopefully it helped, but somehow, I dint agree my steps that ive taken.

Everytime I saw my “intro to mechanical” book, I was thinking.. “I was so fond to choose it, and have a great will to own it, till that I chose it as my first choice as my enrollment to varsities. But now… my determination seems… decrease… and I don't have to will to continue it………..” I keep thinking why… it is not because of the school but it is myself who merely forgot what is my target and what I should be strive for. Nothing else is more important than my course that ive chosen. But many times, even we got the time, we will be influenced by surroundings, and the time isn’t your time after all. And I started become busier and busier… for group assignment discussion, and other meeting as well…or even the ultimate greatly obstacle- Procrastination. Even I have plan my time much, but seems that little bit of delay may cause everything changes. Even a good consequence or a bad one.

Sometimes, it is a wise thought for you to have your own time alone thinking what you’ve done and what you’ve caused. The imperfective of something, and the prefecture of something that you have done. What you’ve become and the surroundings you’ve created. Everything is in your hand just what you’re going to do with your hand, your hand still remain as a hand but what your hand cause will not always follows as your wish or thoughts.

So that's my thoughts for today, although it just my word from heart. Hmm… do stop a while looking around while walking…you might have something different in your mind…

Today(17-08-08) supposed to be a memorable day for us as we came from the same school would go for a school carnival which is a reunion for all the ex-my-school mates came from all over the globe just for a few days trip and dinner. And today it was the time for me to show up and help them out, as we knew we needed to do that the days before... So what made this interesting wasnt the help out but something that appropriate with 'options'.

One thing will bear in your mind, if you are given options to do something, or whatever... how do you make your choice according to your rational and logical thinking??? Ok...dont let me bullshit here, here's the situation looked like...

Morning 7am i went for duty..just to bring the old folks go to a jetty thats all, and it came to an end where we were given break time and could have FREEDOM!!! (this is what im waiting for keke). The next steps in my mind was- lets go shopping at town. And we could make that with me and my friends went to town shooping with cars. But after that I received a call that we needed to return the car in time due to early depart to our next destination. But then before heading back to meet them, we were so bird~ that we went back to 'a place' after that head to meet them. OK, actually before reaching the "place" i was wondering if i want to stay at that place or just followed my friend. Ok, if i chose to stay back at that place, that night i could watch the badminton finals whom malaysian player would be the star of the match and i wouldnt like to miss it. But if i follow my friend, i would predict we would be so bored and tired. SO , if for you what would you do??? Finally i hesitate for quite sometime, i have made choice to follow my friends not because i wanna challenge myself to fight for the boredom or just to go for "siok"...just because i dint want to leave them and i knew that if i abandoned them, i would be the "jackass" la...anyway i just followed them...kinda weird, i felt like i wont be alone instead i got bunch of friends...and din think much about the badminton silly match...( and luckily i din watch it coz malaysia kinda hectic for that match XP)

and later night WE WERE SO LUCKY that we could join the dinner with the old seniors and we had much fun keke...the food was F*ckin SUPERB...like im back to Penang enjoy the great food...and later night again, we were so exhausted and hectic for the arrangement of the transportation for the old seniors to head back to hotel...anyway its still a small matter. And what important was...i enjoyed myself, and i wasnt regret on what choice i made just not only for my own good, but needed to consider ppl's good also...so that decision is a wise decision than a good decision for you and all ^^

Its morning over here (1023am) and my brain was so empty coz i just woke up at 830am keke...and just like to jot down something interesting here ^^ anyway good day...and enjoy the great moment in your life ^^

Everyday starts with a great morning...and the story goes on...

It was a good day indeed, a very tight sleep for me and caused me couldnt wake up in time for my work. But fortunately i managed to wake up as usual and managed to complete a task given half an hour ago. After that...I just headed to the shopping mall,QB that i supposed to head to at around 1030am, but unfortunately...i was late then...something terrible really happened next...till the afternoon, and also in the evening...and also night...

1. I was "informed" that i was impolite to the colleagues in the morning while i first met them in this early morning...and I was "sued" some kind like that.

2. Hmm...then in the evening, I was told through an inderict way, that I already against the company law, and the words still remain in my memory even now...at 12.18am. =.=" pity huh...

3. The parking fee was damn expensive and I had to pay for RM1x, just to let my car stayed stationary in a place. WTHeck...but fortunately, can redeem back the cash ^^

Hmm..it seemed a pretty hard day for me, but tomorrow hopefully i learnt something from yesterday and hope MUST remember what happen today for my main mistake that is- Not to late...

Thats pretty much for today, and I had to rest earlier...goodnight ^^

Its been a harsh period throughout this year and the past year for me to get a website done. The website had been planned since last year August, but website progress hardly to be seen during last year due to the huge battle that im going to face. So i just procrastinate it till my exam was over, and till now the progress of the website can be seen in a faster speed though LOLz...

After a few week struggling to manage the website, Ive been to several shops and supermarket just to find the time that really suit my own time so that i can manage the website in most of the time. And now I managed to do that, as a promoter in supermarket again... and most of the time I do the website. Setup a website indeed not an easy job, not just to know the way to design it, also it needs the skill to read the web codes so you wont be NUTS when you misconduct something from the code or some error you come across while managing the webby.

And I did spend lots of time designing it and also researching to suit some Adobe softwares. But something did make me so glad that is, Adobe bought up Macromedia is a superb and brilliant idea as now both company can work out to make better software for designers and me LOLz... to make things go easier and faster and more efficient. ^^

Hmm..its been 4.21am now, and the latest ever I keep myself awake since today is the off day for me but it seems not even a rest day for me as I have to struggle hard for tomorrow's website launch moment. Now, im proud of it and also kinda steam now, also tired as well... but anyway hope all the webby will goes fine. Im sure i can take care of it. But hope someone will teach me manage website in a better way, (im noob in dreamweaver though >.<#)

I think after the website launching moment, i will release a huge burden, I carried it and quite anxious every moment when im in touch with those thingys... Now, just think everything will go fine then I should leave myself to a relax moment... ^^

anyway, hope everything goes very very fine, and also...speechless as Im so sleepy and drowsy now, good day then^^

Long time dint write an article till now since the final day of my exam. Hmm.. nowi think i have to ended my "job" as the Freeman, Ive found a job and it will be not as bad as i think. Im gonna serve people as a waiter. As usual, anxiety comes before the real thing happens and this is the real me. Im always worry about something yet to be happen and always thinking of the worse scenario. OMG, im so pessimistic ... I dont know why also... It seems a fine job for me but it needs lilttle skill being the waiter. For me, it is a first time job and also...a new experience for myself and this is what i need. But i have some doubtful thoughts sometimes... maybe I dont have the confidence for this. But anyway, "Try first, if dont like then toss it" this is my principle flowing in my mind while choosing some songs LOLz...but for this job, i think im gonna go for a many tries. Not to give up so early or too soon.

My heard seems a maze like, i was the pacman inside and still seeking the way to end the game, and still seeking the way. Perhaps till tomorrow when i go to work, I will be the pacman who found out the sun or moon or stars leads me to the exit. Now, perhaps i shouldnt too upset or too worry about something. I always told myself everything will go fine, as always it goes fine...but I hope it really goes fine as i expected ...

Hmm...hope i will have a good time working there. It supposed an opportunity for myself to try something new, but also I have to give the confidence to them and also myself, at least for a chance for both to try... LOLz... im crapping lots huh... seems tomorrow I will have more thoughts to write over here.

Anyway, even though i will be working on the time that everyone off-work, but also have to work...at least the first day though... so I have to ganbantte neh... good day everyone^^

Its been sometime that Ive strive for everything just for a simple reason, to do well in the exam- STPM. Just recently i put lots of efforts in every subjects although i am sitting just 4 test papers. Its been a harsh time for me, since there are lots of things to follow up and non-stop-ly , and continuously and also working hard every moment, although im not a working machine with 24/7 all time "ON" but most of the time would be spent on studies although not much hours in a single day. But it might enough for me, i think so, and maybe it is enough, or maybe it will not enough much for me to sit for the ultimate exam.

Now, the day and night time before the very last paper, Physics Paper 2. This paper is my only and just only hope for the rest of the subjects since the other subjects that i took was counted "sink"... means doom and i didn't do well indeed. So, I did not admit I practice lots for this subject but just hope that I can do well, and hopefully can get a good result for this subject ^^

Now mood seems a little bit blue, I don know whether want to continue to strive for the last paper or just to take it easy, both of the methods i tried before and the results sometimes very "shit"... And now I just take the time before going to bed to write a bit journal about the whole 30-day time before the exam and now, Hmm... It might be a long story, but now most importantly just to leave an entry here.

Anyway, Ive done the very best to myself, even though it came out silly questions I also undoubtful about anything, just can admit that I didnt prepare enough for the exam. But most important is I GOTTO DO THE BEST for tomorrow's paper ^^

That's all for now, and good luck man, and good day^^