P for Papercut.

Lately i felt the need to blog, i don't know why, maybe I'm starting to know myself better that i shouldn't be that lazy and also being a time wiser, also being someone who doesn't procrastinate.

Few days left before reaching 1st & 2nd of April which is the date I'm afraid the most because it will be the days for my assignment submission period. Until now, i just completed almost 65% of my overall assignments. And now its already 28-03-09. And yet i still have some activity to join, hmm…

I try to sleep just enough, use the shortest time to do a thing in effective way. Not to waste any minute even seconds. Eat more, just the way to get some ‘leisure relaxation’ for me. ‘ Yam cha’ recently already be my favourite past time to share thoughts with friends, talk with friends in a relaxing state. What a leisure relaxation…

Yesterday while I was singing a song, suddenly i wish to quote something bear in my mind during my singing…

没有学问，啊。。。无脸见爹娘。

I think i quote from an old song that we used to sing during our childhood. Try to think im sure you knew what song that i meant. Anyway, that sentence became clearer in my mind, so i was stunned by a second, and think what is that sentence about. I think i have thought something…although it is just a simple sentence, but most of the time, we forgot the simplest things that we used to be…

Tonight is the night of 60 Earth Hour, at 830pm, lasts for an hour, for me, i will shut down my pc…and let the earth enjoy the peace for being ‘a lower electric energetic state’. Im not sure whether my university will join this campaign but I just do what i can do. Hope i will not forget that earth hour.

We are human, today we may be a good person, tomorrow we might be a bad man. Today we can be lazy, but will be a enthusiasm person in everything in the next day. What type are you depends on what you think of what you want to be. No one knows what you want to be, no one knows what are you the next day. You are the sign board, only the signboard assigned by you will drive you to the destination where you want to be.

You conclude yourself, i have no idea at all…^^ yet today is a great day to begin with^^

Currently listening to ガゼット - Without a Trace

mood: energetic, happy, glad, cheerful…^^

Recently im really tired like hell, its not because of a bunch of books needed to study at once, but the lack of time managing my stuffs, such as arranging meeting for assignments, and also some time needed to do my homework. But mostly the most difficult part is meeting for completing a certain task.

I think it was the day before yesterday, i was totally exhausted and hmm…ive slept for 20 hours for that day, but not continuously la… and then the next day indeed energetic but my energy was used in compiling darn programming assignment. I hate that because i don't know much of it, and I have to spend lots of time to understand it and then apply it. It is not hard actually, just that it takes time for me to do that assignment. aih…~

2nd thing is - math quiz, which i don't really take much time to prepare it as I'm kinda lazy to have a kick-start with it although the quiz just takes only 2 chapters. But finally i kick-started already, but maybe im too late to get ready for the quiz as i just started doing the revision at the night before the quiz on the morning after that night. LOLz… so lastly, i ended up a chapter only, and…during the quiz, pathetically, i knew to answer half of the paper only, that is so called stupid la LOLz… (maybe i should see through the next chapter, perhaps i knew how to do it…) anyway, just a reminder for myself not to kick start a task in such 11th hour.

Now, it rains…for me, raining period at evening time gives you a relaxing moment for staying calm at home, then just thinking nothing but just listening to the sound of drops hit every objects on ground. But now its around 630pm, the atmosphere is totally cold, quiet, relaxing moment, but still im thinking of my assignments that haven't settled yet. I want to move on, but in slow pace, really… I was thinking the date of all assignment submission date is going to cut down day by day. And, i know i cant just leave a slow pace for myself. I try to strive hard for everything i grab in my hand. I wont let it be unless i want it to be. So now, im sitting in front of my pc at my room, listening to some songs. Although im kinda sleepy now, but i try to arrange my time using my kokonut. Just hope that tomorrow will be better ^^

So, strive hard for everything so not leave any regrets…~^^

Currently listening to ClearVeil – REBORN (new album) - Iro No Kaketa Sakura

mood: tired, steam, sleepy, miserable, confuse, afraid…

I took some time reading through my previous entries.
I laughed...and felt that.."is that the real me???"
LOLz...
It's like im reading a story, with different chapters of oneself (even i knew its me, but something that im almost forgot)...
Suddenly i felt that, hmm... at least i, myself better than myself from the past...
Anyway, im almost forgot im not alone la, still got friends and family...
I dint mean im lost now but just felt a little bit stupid only...

I just realize that ive been blogging for 3 years already. And it seems almost 4 years already...

Anyway gotta go now, see ya ^^

Sometimes, i felt nothing, i heard nothing, i see nothing, but i can imagine something. It is an ordinary or even routine task for my brain.

Sometimes, i felt that... even im not thinking anything, i would spend the whole day thinking that blank thing.

Sometimes, Im really ok, even my brain is working well, but then my instinct told me that "this is not ok la..."

Sometimes, little changes of yourself may change the whole thing within yourself. It can be good or even bad.

Sometimes, what i wrote here is eventually all bullshit. Because, i know myself more than you do. Because of this, I need to take care myself well before others.

Anyway, this is just my recent thoughts. Nothing to specify much, just that felt a bit confused,anxious,worry bla bla bla...

I wrote this entry now while my brain thinks nothing. But still the wording still came out from my heart but not my brain. Sometimes i felt kinda tired, not because of physically stress but also mentality stress. Im a worker or even follower and i wont be easily stress out, but if you wanna me think this think that, i would surrender... is it my brain spoiled jor???

Everyone in this earth owns their 24 hours time per day, fully utilized without wasting it surely make you a great day. But then...i wondered how much time ive used to make myself more and more??? Something called 'Laziness' found me and followed me, I want to leave it, but...bla bla bla...

I wore a watch lately, just a reminder for myself that time is precious and do let myself be in time for every event or activity but not on time. Watch is sometimes like a pulse, secondary artificial pulse that make you have the sense of time. Although im not having an expensive well known watch but my watch which is analog, "ticks, ticks, ticks," every moment every single minute while in a silent atmosphere makes me think of time still goes by, even you are doing something or even nothing. Watch helps you watch the time, watch helps you lots of things. Watch helps you watch the furious of the rate of the time flow. So, do not underestimate the existence of analog watch ^^ (hmm...this is what i think using my brain...)

I got a story, perhaps next time, i will be here again...so tata~^^

Many people won a situation by mastering self courage and opponent's. Ive been brave today but seemed it isnt what i think about, it is not that easy, instead it is a just a beginning.

"No doubt that i will be able to do that." This quotient remained on my mind since that incident, made myself knew something about courage that will bring out something expected or even unexpected. If u can do it with bravery, of course you can change the consequences. But sometimes, it wont result something you really want.

14/2 seems a special day, since i have lots of surprise even a surprise from myself. It took me several days worrying something on that day even i knew that nothing might happen as well. But then before that day ended, ive put my guts at all cost and made something unexpected. Yeap, ive done it, i felt relief a lot... felt much better than before, maybe the best feeling ever gained... but after a few days oh my... something really unexpected turn out to be my main anxiety...

Even then, i can feel the indifferent atmosphere from her. Seems to be an ignorance, seems to be an avoid, seems to be dislike, and even seems like "better-dont's ". I dont know what to do sometimes, yeap i admit my egoism, but ive tried not to show it so often already. Hmm..perhaps something happened??? I dont know, suddenly i felt that my previous action was totally useless and the worse, causing someone unhappy...i dont know the main reason, but im sure that it is not a good feeling. I admit that i really dislike this kind of feeling, well...this is relationship, if you cant feel it, you arent human.

Ive tried hard to communicate well, but seems a thick wall with a huge gap between us. Oh my... Its been a hard time only for me? I dont know... but sometimes i will find something to get rid of that problem. What can i do now??? Who knows what happened actually??? I hope god knows, and also do bring me some happiness as well... what i want is just a little care, is that really that hard???

Anyway, struggling within myself every moment thinking this and that, dont know what happen actually and also just hope everything will go find, and still im seeking a good way to break the gap, hope i will be ok with it ^^

Time's up...time to go, good day^^

Oh my oh my…its been a busy week, till I had to skip my class to do PAP stuffs. Although my unit had already done the job given in the early time, but then we also have to help other units to complete certain tasks. Indeed it was hard then, really exhausted but sometimes I don't have nothing to do till I was so bored. But anyway I still present whenever I was called up to help out.

Launching day, it was Monday, a special day for us who involved in PAP 09 because it would be the 1^st day of the carnival of PAP. That day actually nothing much I could help there but still it was fun and I actually had my name written by a calligraphy shifu, and met some friends, really fun and I could intro my friends about PAP and also what would be going on for the few days onwards.

The days after PAP launching day were the important PAP roadshow held in every Kampung which would promote the PAP event on Saturday night and also trying to give out more goodies and information to students. Actually, the road shows were kinda bored, firstly it was held at Kg. E but I dint show up there but I went to road shows at I.P. , Kg. CD & AB. I most enjoyed the road shows at Kg. AB, why leh? Because I could meet my roommates and also friends from same faculty. And moreover I joint my PAP friends and had fun there. Oh my…we had lots of fun time there till we won many prizes haha…

Actually the most exhausting moments were the time when PAP night getting nearer. We have to stay whole day in the Chancellor Hall to help other units as well as a multipurpose helper. Friday was tough, but then Saturday also tough as well, but we still got time to relax and watch them rehearse the whole performance ^^. So, overall it wasn't that bad enough for us huhu…^^

The day has come, Saturday (17/1) and we all were busy to finalize our tasks, but weirdo, my unit was the most relax till don't know what to do next. But then… we managed to escape from the hall and hang out at 1B hehe… what did the guys suggest there??? They said wanna have high tea, ohh…actually they wanna give me a bday surprise… hoho&^^ I was so surprise that moment till speechless. Oh my…” thank you all..” this was what I said, lame la me >.<# After that we back to UMS again and it should be time to kickstart the extravaganza night^^

To my surprise, I would be distributing PAP booklets, oh my, I was so glad Ive given that opportunity. And also, the crowd were so long queue till there were 3000+ audiences attended that night. It was an astonish night, full with people, herds of people soaring to uplift the Chinese new year atmosphere, it was so superb till the claps from audience could actually beat down the PA system LOLz…

The night was full of surprise to audience but not to me since I know more or less about the performance keke… But seems audience wouldn't like to stay till midnight and many of them preferred to bed earlier, so before the night officially declared end, audience who lost patience would prefer to go to bed, and this wasn't a good sign after all but then the night was a successful night for all of us ^^

Mad moment had come, the PAP night was over then we had lots lots of pics. To my surprise my bday was the day after the night, a bunch of ‘siao kia’ who same unit with me, countdown the great moment and sang a bday song for me, and I was so surprise and they did it especially on the backstage and everyone knew that I was the one who bday XD oh my…another great moment to me T.T thanks to those ‘siao kia’ once again huhu…

Hmm…that's for all for the whole busy week, and also it was a great moment being with friends at that moment, so… just enjoy the great uni life and also say ‘yes’ to certain things might change the consequence of certain circumstance. So…great day ya^^

Woosh...now i felt relief since ive done my job, partially...at least its my duty to do so, and also something that i wanted to finish it as soon as possible, and today 630am, Ive completed it, and what surprised me... Ive redo all the things that ive done previously...swt~ =.="

20,21 of dec 2008 were special day to me since 2 days which are 48 hours, i actually took 6 hours to sleep only...which i became an owl, slept during day time, and working at night time. It was obvious that I have some 'mission impossible' to be done. On the 20 of Dec, in the night time before i was going to bed around 11pm, suddenly i was told on phone line that I need to redo something that bothered me, the booklet, which i submitted past few days ago, but who knew, i have to redo again...woosh~ bo huat la...redo mah redo lo... and also I have to work nightshift and also day shift -.-" again...

That night I worked till 230am then by that time I was totally steamed already, and unable to continue so I went to bed since around 4am later I have to fetch a friend of mine who came back from KL, so I have to get more rest~ So phone rang later, and I was alarmed to wake up to fly to the terminal bus to pick up my friend, then later went for damn early breakfast, then back to home sweet home at 615am. 730am, a nice figure which tells me later i have to join hiking with my friend,~WTF~ i was totally exhausted already, and i have no choice but to move on, although i was tired... >.<# but anyway tough moment hiked to the dam, and damn...i was so exhausted even i could hiked while my eyes were 'semi close'. SO steam that moment, i really wish i could stop my steps and slow down my pace...and just call Ahmad mai sini ambil saya pi makan kemudian balik tidur aja la... mana tau~ Damn..i dont like doin things half way cabut,so I continue hiked although we took the wrong way XP and nvm nvm~ continue again...then WOOSH~!!! we reached the damn already, first thing came in my mind~ "wahlay...this is so astonishing...the view is damn great!!!" I was so excited since my vine was full of excitement hemoglobin, and the tiredness WAS GONE!!! LOLz~ nice view RULEZ!!!

and then we enjoyed the view over there and later we went down to town to take our brunch. Then rode my motor went home, after a shower and surfed some nets, what next?! -sleep lu...and slept till 3pm, I followed my parents to 'huan2 tai4 sui4'. Then later 430pm went back to home and continue my booklet thingys. And time goes by...I was slowly inspired by something, and had the idea to do the design, I was so regenerated and also my vain was full with some odd ideas then i managed to design a great border that i wanted it to be. WOOSH~ finally I completed it, ^^ and also...still left the cover design yet to be done later or else...die~

Then later night around 1am after went supper with a bunch of siao kia, then start working on my booklet cover design. I started to find it easy to make edit on it, who knows...design mana ada senang mia la... and i have to redo all the things, and guess what , I was doing a completely new cover design and this one page cover design took me whole night till 6am to complete it. It wasnt tough though... but it was so time consuming, luckily my PSCS3 dint hang at all...thank god~or else im gonna TL it...and hard time...and hard time...keep thinking and thinking and try to work out the new & fresh thingys...and luckily i got another partner who is a great helper who shares the burden with me, or else im gonna commit suicide, with a knife, stabbed into my abdomen a few times then consume some C4 blow myself...lolx~ really tough la actually...anyway now felt relief alot ad...since I have achieved something that i wouldnt expect to be happened. And im really satisfied with the effort i put in, and hope my effort will be paid off. And now realize that doing something, really need time management la, or else, keep doing it...can die also one la...

anyway this is just my personal thinking, just felt that this is a great moment to jot down my feelings, so...the same old word~ GOOD DAY then ~^^